I Should Have Taken The Stairs

I live on the 5th floor of an apartment building and work on the 3rd floor of an office building. Being a lazy slob, I take the elevator to and fro many times each day. During these frequent vertical sojourns I have come to the sad realization that there is widespread rudeness as well as a subtle, yet pervasive, form of elitism occuring in the elevator car.

Too often I have stepped onto the elevator and greeted a fellow passenger with a friendly hello. At home there is often a response, but at work I am usually met with stony silence. These bastards don't get a "have a nice day" upon arriving at the desired floor.

Another typical reaction from people upon the opening of the elevator doors is to rush en masse towards the lift, thus blocking the exit for anyone who happens to be on the elevator. Do they apologize for their ignorant, buffalo-stampede behavior? What do you think?

At my apartment building there is a man who will enter the elevator, press the button, then stand in the corner of the car. All well and good, unless you happen to be standing there. Ignoring the unspoken but definite rules of personal space, he will violate your boundries until you are so uncomfortable you step away. This has happened to me twice.

But most troublesome is the increasing snobbery from passengers towards folks who ride the lift for a short duration (typically one floor). On several occasions I have been forced to listen to the snide remarks of one person complaining about someone who just exited. Because they used the elevator to travel one floor. When that's what the elevator's for. And it took, what, 10 seconds? Give me a break.

Thus far I have not spoken up with those salient points, but the older I get the less patience I have for stupid people. Unfortunately the world abounds with stupid people, so it's entirely likely that at some point in the near future I will wind up in prison, in a mental institution, on the lam, or worse, from interacting with them. (As could have been the case with the Wal-Mart litterbug encountered last night -- but that's a story for another time.)

Almost makes me wish Galactus would arrive.

Love is in the air...

Yesterday was a day known far and wide as "The Stupidest Holiday. Ever." Of course, that's what chronically single or people disenfranchised with love call it. And up until this year, that's what I would have called it too.

Amazing what a Significant Other can do to one's perception of a holiday wrought by Hallmark and steeped in flagrant consumerism.

That said, let me amaze you with the awesomest Valentine's Day prezzie EVAR:









Forget flowers and chocolates. Romantic dinner? Diamonds? It is to laugh. What floats MY boat is a 3 Piece Dragon Master Sword Set (with display rack).

Totaling over 4.5 feet of high carbon steel, each blade is black anodized with silver laser heat temper finish. The leather wrapped handles are accented with brass-plated tsuba and pommels that feature Japanese dragon engravings matching those located on the leather wrapped sheaths.

Bad ass? Oh yes.

As if that wasn't enough, a cuddly wuddly little teddy bear was also included. My Valentine perfectly chose gifts to satisfy the soft, sweet side of me, as well as my inner-Uma-Thurman-in-Quentin-Tarantino's-freakin'-awesome-movie, Kill Bill.

Now that's love.

The Beginning of the End

I have succumbed.

Here is my first blog on an actual website dedicated to blogging (in other words, not MySpace). I suppose it's all The S's fault, and by extension, Heidi & Lauren over there at 2 Girls, 1 Larp**. They got me hooked on posts with exceeding hilarity, and now I'm thinking I too can blog with the best of them.

Will I succeed? Or will I fail, like this fellow?:




You be the judge.




** Go yell at them over at http://www.iamthes.blogspot.com/ and http://www.2girls1larp.com/, mmkay?